We Are SO Messed Up
by Fiend Maz
Summary: A series of drabbles ranging from either Sasuke's or Naruto's home to their dorm to their house again and then finally to a random area where they start doing smutty stuff and Naruto plays a prank. NARUSASU & SASUNARU. Crack with some seriousness.


**Title: **We are SO messed up  
**Genre: **Humor & Romance  
**Pairings: **SasuNaru  
**Warning: **Shounen-Ai and implied yaoi.  
**Summary: **A series of drabbles ranging from either Sasuke's or Naruto's home to their dorm to their house again and then finally to a random area where they start doing smutty stuff and Naruto plays a prank. NARUSASU & SASUNARU. Crack with some seriousness.

* * *

"You're always like this Naruto!" Sasuke shouted.

"Well, if you stopped being a bastard for just ONE second then maybe I wouldn't have taken Itachi up on his offer!" Naruto shouted back, frustrated beyond belief.

"You know I hate him! You knew I hate him! And yet you chose him?" The raven angrily brushed past his lover.

"Wait!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm, holding him back. "I'm sorry." He said in a low tone.

Sasuke didn't answer, instead, his hand shot forward, gripping blonde hair. "You're always like this..." He leaned forward, lips brushing against Naruto's quivering ones. "Always..."

"Sorry, teme." Naruto breathed.

"Just... never my brother, okay?"

The blonde nodded and closed the short distance between their lips.

Sasuke shoved his tongue past peach pink lips into a hot cavern and felt his lover trying to push his tongue back. He growled, tugging harshly at the blonde hair in his hand, making Naruto grunt and arch below him. Their tongues clashed but in the end, Sasuke won—just like always.

The kiss broke. "Idiot."

With that, Sasuke let go of his blonde and walked out of the room.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Naruto shouted after him.

"Don't you fucking ever lie to me again Naruto!"

"Temeee! I wasn't lying!" Naruto whined.

"I said: don't lie!"

"I'm NOT!" Naruto's tan hand twitched, itching to just punch his lover's pretty face just to make him understand.

"Naruto," Sasuke growled, stepping closer to his blonde. "Don't you fucking lie to me." He gripped Naruto's front shirt. "Got that?"

"I'll never lie to you!" Naruto shifted his eyes.

Will the teme, actually punch _him_? Has he lost it?

"Good." Sasuke patted Naruto's broad shoulder, letting his lover's shirt go and stepping away.

"I wasn't lying though!" Naruto protested.

"I thought you said you won't lie to me?" Sasuke flung his hands trying to make his exasperation apparent.

"I wasn't lying when I told you that you were PRETTY!" Naruto lunged forward. "TEME!" He succeeded in making Sasuke fall to the ground with a groan from the latter and reared back his fist, intent on punching his teme to make it finally go through the so-called genius that he wasn't, in fact, lying when he saw Sasuke's cheeks with a light blush and his eyes twitching. He smirked evilly. "Hey teme,"

The raven eyed him warily.

"You're... you're embarrassed aren't you?"

Sasuke went red in the face. "Idiot!" He threw Naruto off of him and hastily started getting up. Sasuke wanted more space between him and the idiot who was calling him _pretty_. He wasn't a girl dammit!

"Aw teme," Naruto drawled, pulling Sasuke by the waist and making the raven fall on his bottom. "It's alright teme." The blonde smiled, trailing kisses at the creamy back presented to him as he pulled Sasuke's shirt down. "So pretty..."

Since Sasuke's creamy delicious skin was so enticing and kept most of his attention, Naruto definitely did _not _notice the kage bunshin that his lover just made or the fist that aimed itself on the back of his head until it actually made contact with his head.

"Shit!" The blonde cursed, letting his hold on Sasuke go and clutching his throbbing head.

"Don't call me pretty!" Sasuke shouted, running from the room.

"Touchy..." Naruto muttered.

"So..." Naruto trailed, his eyes eying the delicious chest of his roommate. He licked his lips from his perch on the bed in his dorm room.

"Dobe, have some decency not to look!"

"Mmm... but Sasuke... you're so... delicious. I can just... eat you, you know?" Naruto waggled his eyebrows at his hot roommate.

"I'm not meant for eating you idiot!" Sasuke retaliated, a blush creeping up to his face.

"Sure, that's what _you _say."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke snapped.

"It means, teme, that to me, you're meant for eating... licking... sucking... and especially for fucking." Naruto growled seductively.

"N-Naruto!" The raven scolded.

Naruto laughed loud and raised his hands in surrender. "Kidding. Kidding. Joke Sasuke, kay?" He shook his blonde head and laid back on his bed, pulling up his bed sheets. "Close the lights bastard; I'm sleeping."

Sasuke bit his lip, preventing himself from telling his hot roommate to prove his words and grudgingly flicked the lights closed and slumped on his own bed, willing his half hard erection away.

That dobe is _so _paying for the tortures he puts me onto one day.

And with that happy thought in mind, Sasuke made himself comfortable and went to sleep.

"I am officially repulsed by red hot dogs and all hot dogs for that matter." Naruto exclaimed while throwing his hands up.

"Hm? Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Because... the last time I ate it I just couldn't stop thinking about how it might be cat meat or dog meat!" Naruto scrunched up his nose, gesturing wildly.

A smirk appeared on his lover's face. "Oh actually, they are cat or dog _intestines_."

"Ourgh." Naruto gagged, clutching his throat. "..."

Sasuke laughed hard. "It's true though. It's like eating where the cat and dog shits."

Naruto stuck out his tongue in distaste before fixing his face and glaring at Sasuke with a gleam in his eyes. "What about cock suckers? And those people licking other people's assholes?"

A blush dusted the raven's cheeks, making Naruto smirk in response. "S-So? What about it? It's _intestines_! It's a lot worse than... than those."

Naruto grinned in a feral manner. "Oh no? But I think it's a lot worse... and better."

"Shut up Naruto." Sasuke turned around, ignoring his blonde's raucous laughter as he left the living room.

Naruto leaned in and locked lips with him and hummed, sending the vibrations down and grinding a bit faster, feeling the erection slightly perk up.

Sasuke pushed his blonde off reluctantly. "Eager today Naruto?"

"Perhaps..." Naruto purred back.

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's collar and smashed his lips violently with his dobe's own. He nipped and bit at the peach lips harshly, drawing out a moan from his lover.

The raven growled appreciatively before shoving his tongue in Naruto's mouth, sucking the blonde's appendage and nibbling none too gently.

Naruto growled back just as fiercely and pulled the Uchiha close to him and started to grind himself on the man's body, feeling the heat building up between them.

"Dobe." Sasuke growled in warning, he gripped his lover's blonde hair and tugged until Naruto's body made a perfect arc. He slid down a hand and cupped his dobe's erection, kneading it through the material Naruto wore and earned himself a groan. Sasuke moved his knee, placing it beside Naruto and using it as leverage to raise himself and continued kissing his blonde downwards, shoving his tongue in Naruto's throat.

"Sas... Sasuke." Naruto moaned, clutching Sasuke's shoulder and wrapping his other arm around his seme's neck. He moved his chin upward, deepening the kiss.

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes—when had he closed them?—and saw the hazy look in his uke's eyes. He was enjoying the sounds that Naruto made as he massaged the blonde's balls through the material of his dobe's pants. The raven smiled as he got the reaction he wanted: an arc to the blond's back and a loud moan.

"Teme..." Naruto smiled before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"What the—" Sasuke growled and caught himself before hitting the floor. "DOBE!"

* * *

A/N

Ah. Naruto... forever the dobe and Sasuke... forever played with in personality. XD

You can tell I'm bored. Haha! And I needed to get some of my tension out soooo yeah, the weird short drabbles are born!

The last one has most snippets from my RP with a friend of mine from DA. It was fun and although I didn't feel like doing the pron it was... okay.

I made it work by adding the ending. LAWL. I was originally Sasuke there buuut when it came to the "Sas-Sasuke..." whatever part, I became Naruto because! She informed me she couldn't write uke role. LOL. So, being the flexible person I am, I took over. I can do both seme and uke anyway xD

Yeah so basically... the last two lines are totally my add ons. That was SO not what was supposed to happen. Smut was supposed to happen but I don't feel like it sooo yeah.

Hehe. I'd appreciate comments ;)

Proud member of the YAOI Rebellion,

~Maz.

_All Rights Reserved © Maz 2010_


End file.
